Monday 13 August 2012

So that was fun...

It's true what they say, you know. Revenge, like Gazpacho soup, is best served cold. Some of you will probably have seen my brief appearance on Channel 4's Dispatches today. So I thought I might explain myself, especially considering the title; "Tricks of the Dole Cheats." 

Not my idea for a title, by the way. Not entirely sure that gives the right idea?

Anyway, the unfortunate title is supposed to provoke a question; "What are the tricks of the dole cheats?" The answer that I personally am praying to any deity foolish enough to heed my call that the viewer came to is; "There are no tricks. Just the utter incompetence of the JobCentre Plus."

Because they really are. I used to take it as a complement when people used to tell me that my being unemployed was a waste. Now I just angrily agree. Because that's what I feel like. A junked unit. 
And I shouldn't be. I'm eager and ready to go. The news tells me industry says there's a skill shortage. But the jobcentre tells me to take my degree of my CV, that it might make me seem overqualified. It might scare employers. Degrees are supposed to be a sign of intelligence. When was a lack of intelligence a desirable quality for an employee?

I guess at the end of the day, I did it because I'm tired. I'm tired of the contempt. The prejudice. I'm tired of being treated like scum by those people. And I'm not the only one. Did they really think they could treat us like this for so long and we wouldn't do anything about it? Did you really think we would allow you to routinely strip our dignity, let you humiliate us into subservience? This is England, stupid! This is Great Britain, not some backward state in America. You push us, we push back. I push back.

This is a word of warning to the next organization that attempts to wage psychological warfare on resourceful, intelligent people. 

Don't. Because truthfully, you do not know what you are fucking with.

Britain is known for its thinkers. And you tell me to hide my intelligence? You tell me to take my degree of my CV? To act stupid, aim for the mud? 

I will show you the depths of my resourcefulness, and I'll find a way to push back in a way you weren't quite expecting. But you'll really wish I hadn't just done that.

And finally, other than selfish vengeance, my ulterior motive. You'll have noticed that at the end it mentions that of all the people featured in the programme, only I am still unemployed. I'd really like to change that. And hey, what better advertisement than on TV, right? 

Come on, guys! I've got a degree in Genetics, A-levels in Computing, Biology, Design, Btecs in Music Technology, and GCSE's grades A-C coming out of my arsehole. Surely someone, somewhere can think of a better use for me than a McDonalds Team Member? Than a shelf-stacking Sales Assistant? Please?

I mean, why else do we send our children to University? What the hell was all the money that the government invested in me to become a Geneticist spent for? So your check-out boy can tell you the exact makeup of the GM tomatoes you just bought?

I worked hard. I tried my hardest, and I thought that I had succeeded. Now I'm told that my success is a burden. A burden that I need to be ashamed of. That I need to hide from. This isn't how it's supposed to be, is it?

Watching the Olympics, I saw a guy called Mo say legendary words. "By hard work and grafting, you can achieve success. It's just hard work and grafting." That's how it should be. You wouldn't tell an Olympian to hide his medals. You shouldn't tell a graduate to hide his degree.

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