It's true what they say, you know. Revenge, like Gazpacho
soup, is best served cold. Some of you will probably have seen my brief
appearance on Channel 4's Dispatches today. So I thought I might explain
myself, especially considering the title; "Tricks of the Dole Cheats."
Not my idea for a title, by the way. Not entirely sure that
gives the right idea?
Anyway, the unfortunate title is supposed to provoke a
question; "What are the tricks of the dole cheats?" The answer that I
personally am praying to any deity foolish enough to heed my call that the viewer
came to is; "There are no tricks. Just the utter incompetence of the JobCentre
Plus."
Because they really are. I used to take it as a complement
when people used to tell me that my being unemployed was a waste. Now I just
angrily agree. Because that's what I feel like. A junked unit.
And I shouldn't be. I'm eager and ready to go. The news
tells me industry says there's a skill shortage. But the jobcentre tells me to
take my degree of my CV, that it might make me seem overqualified. It might
scare employers. Degrees are supposed to be a sign of intelligence. When was a
lack of intelligence a desirable quality for an employee?
I guess at the end of the day, I did it because I'm tired. I'm
tired of the contempt. The prejudice. I'm tired of being treated like scum by those
people. And I'm not the only one. Did they really think they could treat us
like this for so long and we wouldn't do anything about it? Did you really
think we would allow you to routinely strip our dignity, let you humiliate us
into subservience? This is England, stupid! This is Great Britain, not some
backward state in America. You push us, we push back. I push back.
This is a word of warning to the next organization that
attempts to wage psychological warfare on resourceful, intelligent people.
Don't. Because truthfully, you do not know what you are
fucking with.
Britain is known for its thinkers. And you tell me to hide my
intelligence? You tell me to take my degree of my CV? To act stupid, aim for
the mud?
I will show you the depths of my resourcefulness, and I'll
find a way to push back in a way you weren't quite expecting. But you'll really
wish I hadn't just done that.
And finally, other than selfish vengeance, my ulterior
motive. You'll have noticed that at the end it mentions that of all the people
featured in the programme, only I am still unemployed. I'd really like to change
that. And hey, what better advertisement than on TV, right?
Come on, guys! I've got a degree in Genetics, A-levels in
Computing, Biology, Design, Btecs in Music Technology, and GCSE's grades A-C
coming out of my arsehole. Surely someone, somewhere can think of a better use for
me than a McDonalds Team Member? Than a shelf-stacking Sales Assistant? Please?
I mean, why else do we send our children to University? What
the hell was all the money that the government invested in me to become a Geneticist
spent for? So your check-out boy can tell you the exact makeup of the GM
tomatoes you just bought?
I worked hard. I tried my hardest, and I thought that I had succeeded.
Now I'm told that my success is a burden. A burden that I need to be ashamed
of. That I need to hide from. This isn't how it's supposed to be, is it?
Watching the Olympics, I saw a guy called Mo say legendary
words. "By hard work and grafting, you can achieve success. It's just hard
work and grafting." That's how it should be. You wouldn't tell an Olympian
to hide his medals. You shouldn't tell a graduate to hide his degree.
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